Random Insanity! Sailor Senshi VS Samurai Troopers
by Tsumira
Summary: Rate R because of bad language I no longer use. An old fic that isn't complete


Sailor Senshi VS Samurai Troopers  
  
Note: Written several years ago and still not finished. I just found it last night so =P  
  
By some sort of strange and bizarre cosmos flip, switch, twist, and mix up, somewhere in a just as freaky unfathomable plain, the Samurai Troopers and Sailor Senshi find themselves up against one another. How this happened is beyond logic and reason, so you must know that some greater power (namely the writer) is really screwed up and decided to pit these two popular forces against each other.  
  
Seiji:[starring hard at Makoto; drooling; to himself] Whoa, what a babe! I'm sure I can score easy with that chick.  
  
Shu:I'm hungry. Can we hurry up so we can eat?  
  
Shin:Shu you're always hungry.  
  
Usagi:[whiny] I'm hungry too.  
  
Shu:Hey, can't we all just take a break before we fight and eat first?  
  
Ryo:[scolding] Shu!  
  
Usagi:[whining] I don't wanna fight!  
  
Rei:Don't be such a nakimushi, Sailor Moon. [looking at Ryo] Hey, that guy in the red is pretty hot!  
  
Usagi:[stops whining and looks up] Whoa, you're right Sailor Mars.  
  
Minako:[moving over to Usagi; pointing her finger at Usagi] You've got Mamoru.  
  
Usagi:[sticks her tongue out at Minako] At least I don't go chasing after guys who are really girls.  
  
Minako:[fighting with her] Hey! You were following too!  
  
Usagi:I was not chasing after Haruka! I was following you to make sure you didn't do anything stupid.  
  
Touma:[while Usagi and Minako are arguing] What's with these girls anyway?  
  
Minako:And this coming from the clutz queen?  
  
Makoto:[moving over to Minako; pointing her finger at her] You're just as bad. Remember when we were all sick with the flu and you decided to play Nurse Venus.  
  
Minako:[looking angrily at Makoto] Just what are you saying Jupiter?  
  
Seiji:[smitten] Boy, that girl in the green looks really forceful.  
  
Makoto:[turning to Seiji; angered] What did you just say?! [thinking] Wow, that guy looks like my old boyfriend, but he's probably just like the rest of those lowlifes I've dated.  
  
Tear drops on the cats', and other senshi's foreheads.  
  
Makoto:Are we gonna just stand around here grunting like they do on Dragonball Z or are we gonna kick some ass?!  
  
Shu:[ready for action] Rock and roll! My kind of girl!  
  
Usagi:Do we have to fight? Can't we just go home and eat some of Jupiter's chocolate chip cookies?  
  
Shu:[eyes lit up and mouth drooling] She can cook?! Cook and fight?! Now that's the ideal woman!  
  
Makoto:[thinking] Hey, that guy looks like my old boyfriend too. And he's much nicer than that other boy. He's probably not even a natural blond.  
  
Ami:[scanning the strange dimension] I don't think we can get out of here. My scouter isn't detecting any exits.  
  
Touma:[looking at Mercury's scouter] Hey, is that some sort of high-tech computer?  
  
Ami:[looking at Touma] Why, yes it is. Do you by any chance know how to get out of here? I have an Advance Human Physiology test to study for.  
  
Senshi:Nani?! You're already ten chapters ahead.  
  
Ami:I know, but it never hurts to be prepared.  
  
Touma:You're studying Human Physiology? I'm taking that next year. Right now I'm taking Advanced Human Anatomy.  
  
Ami:Really? That's what I'm taking next year.  
  
Touma:I want to be a scientist or a pediatrician when I grow up.  
  
Ami:Hey, I want to be a pediatrician too!  
  
Touma and Ami-chan talk. What they're talking about is beyond the writer of this story because no one else is listening. Luna and Artemis are far from being impressed by the determination of the girls.  
  
Ryo:Is no one going to fight? [no one pays attention to him] Is anyone even listening to me?  
  
Shu and Makoto are talking to each other about all of the people whose asses they've whooped, Seiji is hitting on Minako thinking that she's "easy", Minako is boring him to death with her stories of what it's like to be a famous Super Star, though some of it is actually interesting to Seiji, Shin is keeping to himself, Usagi is crying because she wants to get out of there and see her Mamoru, Byakuen is taking a nap, and Rei-chan has suddenly grabbed onto Ryo's arm.  
  
Rei:[grabbing Ryo's arm; romantically close; smitten] I'm listening to you.  
  
Ryo:[shocked] Iie! Get off of me! [tries to detach himself from Rei-chan] Byakuen! Get this girl off of me!  
  
Byakuen looks up, yawns, and puts his head down.  
  
Rei:[insulted] Fine, be that way. [marches away from Ryo]  
  
Ryo:[relieved] Phew. That was close.  
  
Rei:[kicking Usagi up] Come on odanga atama. Let's go kick this guy's butt.  
  
Shin:Do we have to fight? I really don't think it would be nice to fight girls.  
  
Ryo:Hey, you were ready to pound Kayura.  
  
Shin:Excuse me? Did I ever say I wanted to beat down Kayura? I really didn't want to, but there wasn't any other option at the time. Plus, she was working for Arago. We don't know who these girls are. Haven't you given any thought that they might be on the good side?  
  
Ryo:[scratching head] Good side? How can they be on the good side when they're wearing that short of skirts? They're a bunch of whores.  
  
Rei & Makoto:[insulted and angry] Whores?! We'll show you who's the damn whores you bastards. [all senshi ready to fight; troopers get ready to fight and defend themselves; Byakuen finally gets up]  
  
Luna:Becareful girls.  
  
Artemis:You can do it!  
  
A mysterious figure appears in the shadows.  
  
Figure:[feminine] Excuse me.  
  
They all turn to the figure.  
  
Rei:Who the hell are you?!  
  
Figure:I'm the writer of the story and I've decided to complicate matters for you all. I will be bringing the four Mashos and Outer Senshi into this story. And if that isn't annoying or complicated enough, I'm bringing Chibi Moon and Yamano Jun as well.  
  
Usagi:You're bringing that little brat here?!  
  
Touma:Hey, you leave Jun alone!  
  
Shin:Pick on someone you're own size!  
  
Seiji:I think Jun is her own size.  
  
The writer raspberries Kourin no Seiji-san and disappears. Soon after she leaves, the four Mashos, the Outer Senshi, Chibi Moon, and Jun appear.  
  
Chibi Usa:[looking around] How'd I get here? I was just at Mamoru's.  
  
Usagi:[angry; looking down] Why you little brat?! Mamoru's my boyfriend!  
  
Chibi Usa:[teasing] No he's not.  
  
Usagi and Chibi Usa raspberry each other.  
  
Touma:Hey, we don't have to do nothing. These girls could wipe out each other before we could land a single blow.  
  
Makoto:[insulted and angry] What did you say?!  
  
Minako:You don't think we can fight? [both Moons are still going for each other's throats over Mamoru]  
  
Ami:Please, stop fighting you guys.  
  
Setsuna:This isn't the time or the place to start quarreling with each other.  
  
Hotaru:[waving to Chibi Usa; weak] Hi, Chibi Moon.  
  
Chibi Usa stops arguing with Usagi.  
  
Chibi Usa:Hi Sailor Saturn! [Saturn smiles]  
  
Haruka:This is stupid. I'm outta of here.  
  
Michiru:I'll go with you.  
  
Uranus and Neptune go off on their own, hand in hand.  
  
Rajura:Where are those two going?  
  
Shuten:I think that they are lesbians.  
  
Anubis:I don't care if they are lesbians, I will still rip the flesh from their bones. [pause] I just wouldn't eat it, that's all.  
  
Naaza:I say we exterminate them as practice for crushing the Samurai Troopers.  
  
Voice:Excuse me for interrupting, [Haruka and Michiru make out in a dark corner] but you're not here to fight the Samurai Troopers, furthermore, in the storyline you're no longer the enemies of the troopers. Technically, Shuten isn't even suppose to be here, he's suppose to be dead, but if Sailor Saturn can be brought back to life, why the hell not Shuten? So why don't you guys introduce yourselves and attempt to fight? [to the lesbians] Stop making out or I'll make you guys sisters like they're doing in America. 


End file.
